It is very important to recognise that the world shall change when I change

We all know that conflicts are a part of our everyday life and they form in our close relations, at a societal level & on an international level. Very often we see conflicts leading to aggression, hostility and war. However, conflicts can also be a stepping stone leading to change and wisdom; if we learn to handle them constructively. Since relationship conflicts are inevitable, learning to deal with them healthily is extremely crucial because when a conflict is mismanaged, it can harm the relationship. But when handled respectfully and positively, it provides an opportunity for growth, ultimately strengthening the bond between two people. 

Any kind of conflict has two dimensions, internal and external. Internal conflicts arise when the mind and intellect are moving in opposite directions and external conflicts are caused when people or situations confront us and we are not sure how to cope with them. Some people view conflicts as an opportunity for a change and some see it as a natural global phenomenon. But others feel that conflicts are avoidable through better communication but they are frightened of the process. Due to this fear, they hold themselves back and content themselves by making a peace contract or a deal. However, such solutions are very temporary and can be seen as a band-aid solution, which might be effective for the short term only. We all know that conflicts ought to be resolved by use of intellect or reasoning because when conflicts are allowed to develop unhindered without intervention or when the parties involved fuel the conflict, it often happens that the conflict evolves negatively. And that is why people seek guru’s or senior’s advice when they are faced with conflicting decisions. But the irony is that with all the information and advice that is available to us, we are unable to resolve matters because there is an acute implementation paralysis. We must not forget about the fact that the best source of judgement is a person's intellect because nobody can understand his feelings, situations and capabilities to deal better than his self.

We may seek advice from an experienced person, however, the sense of joy or security that we feel on hearing good advice is only temporary because it is not real. Just like the feeling of joy derived from thinking of eating something delicious is unreal, real joy comes only after eating the thing. We too have to undergo an experience to make it real. Remember! conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when it is resolved healthily, it increases our understanding of one another, builds trust, and strengthens our relationship bonds. A growing body of research has shown spirituality as a great antidote for all kinds of conflicts. Spirituality is like the medicine that heals the root of the disease and not just the symptoms. It is the only means that gives us complete solutions to conflicts. From a spiritual perspective, the most powerful value needed for conflict resolution is 'respect'. This is because most of the people don't wish to negotiate when they have material power.

Therefore, there's an urgent need for those to realize and respect their inner powers. Similarly, faith is also a very important element in conflict resolution, it is the key to mutual understanding. For global conflicts, the solution lies with the leadership. The leaders can bring about the much-needed change and make it trickle down the societies. Leaders of today must remember that any kind of change can be termed 'real' only when it affects the grassroots. It is thus very important to recognize that the world shall change when I change. Hence, people should not wait to be told that they need to change, instead, they should realise it themselves.

(The writer is a spiritual educator & popular columnist, views are personal)